Couple Therapy

In classical cinema,tragedies end in death and comedies end with marriage. Whereas in real life many marriages tend to lose humor as well as romance and end up more like tragic comedies.

In Turkey the divorce rate is approximately 20% (DIE). A majority of these divorces take place during the first five years of marriage. On the other hand we have no access to the number of “UNSATISFYING” marriages that continue due to reasons of economic or personal insecurity.

Every stage of relationships has its own challenge. Each challenge brings its own pain as well as pleasure. The ability to define the boundaries of a relationship, maintain a sense of self and share intimacy all at the same time requires a variety of relationship skills. Couples who develop these skills will have an easier time committing to each other.

Couple therapy focuses on building up the couple by working with their strengths. Research shows us that good communication skills are one of the best predictors of a happy relationship. Couples that are able to share their problems in a clear way will have an easier time attaining balance and deriving pleasure from the relationship.

Most relationships don’t suffer from the number of problems the couple faces or differing values but from the way they approach the issues they face. Communication skills are learnable and can be taught.

Throughout therapy individuals and couples learn to define their destructive communication patterns. They learn to overcome the obstacle they meet with the skills they acquire in therapy. Awareness when coupled with new skills is an effective way to prepare for future challenges.

Who comes to Therapy:

  • Couples that are stuck in their relationships;
  • Couples that are questioning their relationship;
  • Couples going through particularly challenging situation (particularly when the challenge is over

Question asked and answered during couple therapy:

  • My spouse refuses therapy, is one-person couple therapy possible?
  • My spouse insists on bringing up issues, which are “history”, can we possibly have a future under these conditions.
  • We keep hurting each other even though we love one another, we are both somewhat depleted is their hope?
  • I discovered that my spouse is having an affair are my only choices revenge or divorce? Will I ever be able to forgive?
  • My spouse is nice to everyone except me, why am I always last on the line? Must I live with this?
  • My spouse is overly possessive and jealous how can I get him/her to stop controlling me?
  • My spouse systematically does the opposite of what I ask for.
  • My in-laws are right in the middle of our lives; my spouse is under their influence can we gain some autonomy under these conditions.
  • The children took over our whole life, is our couple relationship destined to doom when kids join the family.
  • We are talking about separation, hoe will this impact the children? How can we minimize the negatives?
  • My interest in my spouse is waning and visa versa. Is there a way to ignite the extinguished spark
  • When we confront one another we get so aroused and angry that there is no end we resort to stonewalling as a means for survival. Is there an exit?
  • I am fed up with placating Its almost as if I am handling the whole relationship on my own. Is balance possible?

What can one realistically expect from couple therapy?

Individual gain individual and relational awareness throughout the process. The sense of increased security in the couple’s life enhances their connection.

Due to improved communication skills they are able to reacquaint to each other and rediscover each other. This fresh perspective will facilitate problem solving.

Family Therapy:

Family therapy includes spouses and other members of the immediate family.

It is an approach that aims to bring interested parties together and facilitate healthy, functional common solutions.

The basic belief is that family is the major source of support and security for the individual.

Solution generation is facilitated when a family can understand and own the relational dynamics that created it. As Einstein once said a problem cannot be solved with the consciousness that generated it, a new level of awareness is necessary.